Sleeping: Then & Now

A year ago tonight Michael started our CarePages site for Max. We were so grateful for all the support we received and it was a great way for both of us to keep everyone up to date on what was going on in the NICU. Painful as it is at times, I've found myself re-reading the entries and I'm so thankful we have them. They're definitely going in Max's scrapbook!

Duet

Got this from my dear friend Fran today. An awesome impromptu piano duet by a couple at the Mayo Clinic. They've been married 62 years and he'll be 90 this year!

Max's 1st Birthday Cake: The Process

The original design
The cake
Naturally, our Pittsburgh Penguin had Asian eyes!
Time to blow out the candles!
Penguin Autopsy (courtesy of Jill H.)

A Letter to our Son

Dear Maxwell,

Today you are one year old. It's so amazing to think that a whole year has passed since we first 'met' you. It has been a year filled with both joys & hardships, but we've made it to this point stronger, wiser and even more grateful for life.

Your entrance into the world was a scary one. There were over a dozen doctors in the room with us, all there to help as soon as you were born. Did you know that they tried to give me an epidural FIVE times, but none of them took? You *knew* that something was wrong in that womb of yours and you were ready to come out, so I said "Screw it! Get him out NOW!" Did you also know that Mommy & Daddy were supposed to start birthing classes just three days after you were born? Funny, huh? I didn't have the slightest idea how to push correctly, so it took quite awhile.

But after over 32+ hours of labor, at 11:07am our life forever changed. You were born and we became a family of three! You were very sick, my love, so they immediately took you to a bed next to us to help you breathe. It all happened so quickly, but we got a glimpse of you and I remember saying to your Daddy "We have a Max!" and feeling a gush of love I didn't know possible.

We spent the next 30 days in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit with you. You gave us quite a scare on your first night of life, but we'll talk about that another time when you're older. Just know this: you're a miracle baby! That's why everyone calls you 'Miracle Max'. We don't want you to get a big head, but you're truly amazing. ;) You defied all odds, especially that first night, and we take *nothing* for granted anymore.

You melt our hearts on a daily basis and we fall in love with you over and over and over. Waking up to your smiles and chatter and watching you fall asleep in our arms at night makes life worth living. Your spunk, curiosity, energy and flirtatiousness continue to amuse and amaze us.

Momma was adopted by Grandma & Grandpa Fu when she was a baby. You are my first known blood relative. You even look like me! It's you and me, kiddo. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I could go on for hours, so I'll bring this to a close. Little Boy, you have brought a richness to your Daddy's and my life that I never knew possible. Your unconditional love is the most amazing gift we could ever receive and I hope that you know just how much we adore you. We love you with all our hearts.

Happy 1st Birthday, Bubba.

Love,
Mommy & Daddy

Max Eve

A year ago as I start this post we'd been at Geisinger for a day. I'd received another shot to strengthen Max's lungs and we'd done a lot of sitting. The one 'nice' part of being at Geisinger was the amazing facilities. My room was downright posh! It was like a fancy stay at a hotel. More importantly, we had an amazing nurse, Kristy, taking care of us. (Kristy, if you're reading this- we love you and are so thankful for everything you did for us!)

After a long uncomfortable night in the chair, Michael checked into a hotel room up the road to send some email updates to friends & family, as well as try to get one last night of sleep. The plan was that after my final shot, they'd let the labor progress and if Max chose to be born, we'd go with it. My contractions were getting relatively strong by about midnight and I was just plain scared/uncomfortable being by myself. I sucked it up for awhile, but eventually it got unbearable and I called my poor husband and asked him to come back and sit with me. The man was there within a half hour. (What a saint!) He spent the rest of the night watching the monitor and helping me in and out of the contractions. (He would have little to no sleep by the time Max was born the next morning.)

Tonight I worked on The Cake. I'd been throwing around the idea of either a penguin or elephant (Max's current favorite stuffed animal/comfort toy given to him by his Fairy Quadmother Calley!) and ultimately decided on a Pittsburgh Penguin. Keepin' it real, yo. I baked two round cakes tonight (yellow) and will decorate it when we get to Dave's tomorrow. The perfectionist in me is constantly reminding myself that it doesn't matter if it's not 'exact' or if something goes wrong, but rather that Max's Mommy is making a cake for his very first birthday!

My Dad decorated a cake for Max's Minnesota birthday party last week. (see above) The little man wasn't really into smashing his face into it and as you can see, he wasn't a fan of getting his hands sticky! It was hilarious. We'll see how he does tomorrow! (He did LOVE it when we sang Happy Birthday to him though!)

Tomorrow is the big day. I can hardly believe it's been a whole year. Max's Uncle Dave is hosting a party at his house tomorrow afternoon and I think it will be quite emotional. (I've already teared up several times today while just watching the boy sit and play!) It will be really special because all the people who were there right after he was born will be in attendance- Dave, Nana, Michael's best friend Jill and our dear friend Shawn.

To be continued tomorrow... Miracle Max will officially turn one at 11:07am EST!

Countown to One

One year ago tonight (almost to the hour as I start this post) my water broke. Michael had moved to Penn State one month prior to start grad school and I stayed with my kickass brother-in-law and his roomie while I finished up in the office in Pittsburgh. I'd been here all of three days when the water broke. At first I wasn't sure what was going on (I'll spare you all the details), so I called the on-call doctor. He said to keep an eye on things, but wasn't overly concerned. Awhile later (and again, no details), I went to Michael and said "I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I think something weird is going on" and called the doctor again. This time he told me that he couldn't promise I was okay without an exam and to go to the ER immediately.

As we got in the car and headed into town, little did we know how much our lives were about to change...

"Well, this is kind of cool. We're getting a dress rehearsal for the real thing!" said the theatre geek (ahem, me) to Michael was we walked into the ER.

We checked in and sat down in the waiting area. I think this is when I started to freak out and I remember shaking uncontrollably- the kind of shakes you get when you're really cold. We didn't have to wait too long to be seen and we had an amazing nurse taking my blood pressure, asking questions, etc. To this day I wish we knew her name because she was so calm and comforting. I also seem to remember the three of us cracking jokes, laughing and having fun even under the circumstances.

The doctor came in, did an exam and then said words I'll never forget: "Yes, your water has indeed broken".

WHAT?! I'm not due for two months!

And then the realization of "You can't UNBREAK water... this is it."

It's all kind of a blur after that. The hospital (the one where we'd planned to have Max) was not a facility that would be able to handle such a premature birth and it was suggested immediately that we be transferred to either Geisinger or Hershey Medical Center (aka where Jon & Kate's gazillion kids were born). Both were highly recommended, so we chose Geisinger because it was closer (one hour).

They immediately gave me a shot to strengthen Max's premature lungs as much as possible and informed us that chances are, I'd be kept at Geisinger until Max was born and the goal was to keep him in there as long as possible. They then sent Michael home to walk the dog, pack a bag and call our families and transported me by ambulance. The same wonderful nurse rode right next to me, which was again, very comforting. I remember her wishing me luck and telling me to be sure to bring our baby in to visit her when were back in town. (Again, darn that I don't know her name because I totally would.)

I was wheeled in and moved to a room with another woman. At one point, her mother came over and introduced herself and said that her daughter was pregnant with triplets and only 27 weeks. They hooked me up to all the IV's and machines, which was quite painful because the nurse couldn't find a 'good' vein and poked me multiple times without luck.

Michael arrived shortly thereafter and I've never been so happy to see him in my life. I remember being petrified and uncomfortable (they hadn't been able to put in a catheter yet and I despise bedpans), but everything was okay as soon as he walked in the room. The trooper stayed with me and spent the rest of the night sleeping in a very uncomfortable chair.

Little did we know as we attempted to sleep that we'd have a child just a day and a half later, not to mention the journey the coming month(s) would prove to be.

To be continued tomorrow...

Mall Stroller Fun

In addition to being a teacher, theatre director & EMT, Max's late Grandpa B was a volunteer fire fighter. Max would do him proud, don't you think?