Friday, April 3, 2009

Too Close For Comfort

** CAUTION: E.R. final episode plot spoiler!!! **

I haven't watched E.R. in years, but I felt compelled to watch the final episode earlier this evening. My mom and I used to watch the show every week back when it started 15 years ago and it just felt wrong to not tune in. (Hi, sucker?!) I'm a fan of the 'Old School' years: Doctors Green, Ross, Benton, Lewis and the little scrapper resident, Carter. I felt that watching the final episode would be like saying goodbye to old friends. (I'm admittedly cheesy like that.)

The one hour flashback episode was just that (waterworks at ANY reference to Dr. Greene!), but the actual final episode... was another story. Sure, I didn't recognize most of the characters and was confused why Uncle Jesse had disbanded from the Rippers and Rory Gilmore had thrown away her promising career as a journalist to work in the E.R. (ha!), but after all these years, it still had the same old E.R. feeling. 

Then came the plotline of the woman giving birth to a baby who was born septic... and it just hit waaaay too close to home. It brought back too many terrifying memories of the night of Max's birth when we were called into the NICU to say goodbye to our (septic) little boy. It made me realize that even though it was 'just a TV show' that the writers definitely did their jobs- the feelings were too realistic for someone who had actually lived through the nightmare. It was a little too much to handle, so I changed the channel. 

Thankfully, we were blessed with a real life happy ending. Our little guy is just two days shy of 7 months (5 adjusted) and is a thriving and amazing little person! He squeals, jumps, slobbers and has a million dollar smile that melts my heart a million times a day. (I have since learned that the mother on the show did not survive, so we've got another one-up on them as well.)

And yet I'm still extremely disturbed... it's almost 4am and I can't fall asleep. My mind is racing and I just want to go pick up my baby and hold and cuddle him, but I know that he's enjoying a peaceful slumber and don't want to rouse him from it. A fussy baby tomorrow is a reality that would hit home if I did!

1 comment:

Gourmet Kelly said...

Angie - your fears are as natural as any mother's. I know as I feel the same way watching any tv show that involves sick babies - I generally get scolded by my toddler for holding her too tight when I do seek her out to cuddle after watching those programs! And if she's sleeping, I generally watch her sleep for a while, it helps to let me fall back asleep. Hugs to you and Super Max!