Friday, January 23, 2009

Fractured Fairy Tales

Michael likes to tell Max stories while he's feeding him. It seems that I always catch him during his renditions of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. The first time I heard the story, he was telling it to him in an Arnold Schwartzenegger voice. No joke, the whole story! Hilarious.

Tonight's story had a new spin:

Goldilocks lived on a commune. She ticked her mother off while playing Wii, so her mom told her to go take a walk and play outside. She wandered to the Three Bears house and because she was very forward thinking (living on the commune and all), she didn't have a sense of ownership, so she helped herself to the bear's food (which happened to be Vegemite), sat in their chairs, tried out their beds, etc.
The Mother Bear in this story had sciatica, so she had Swedish tempurpedic padding on her chair and bed. Father Bear also had a bad back- one paw was shorter than the other- so he needed extra bed support as well. 
The anthropromorphic Bear Family had been on a nature walk before they found Goldilocks in their house. Baby Bear had taken a nice pic of a speckeled finch! Ooooooh!

When they got home and found Goldilocks in Baby Bear's bed they hog tied her, covered her mouth with duct tape and put her in the back of their Toyota Prius. The rest is history.

Methinks my husband was trying to teach our son to respect other people's/bear's property?...

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